Andrew Auernheimer (weev) wrote,
Andrew Auernheimer

Why Justin Bieber is an underrated antihero

It was 2011 when I first became a Belieber. The Commercial Felony Streaming Act was being argued in the Senate, sponsored by Amy Klobuchar. It was a nightmare of a bill that would have made it a felony for you to make performances of copyrighted works. This, incidentally, was how Justin Bieber's career began: singing songs on YouTube. A radio announcer told him about the bill and his thoughts on Senator Klobuchar were that "she should be locked up ... she needs to know that I’m saying she needs to be locked up, put away in cuffs."

When it comes to retaliation against rulers one opposes I prefer the kill their sons and rape their daughters approach outlined in the Völundarkviða, but calling for extrajudicial imprisonment is a pretty good instinct for a 16 year old. I came to expect great things from Bieber. I was not disappointed.

He mocked Orlando Bloom after fucking his supermodel wife Miranda Kerr, then ducked the guy's punch and laughed at him. He told nigger jokes. Just last year he was sued over an anti-semitic incident where he egged a Jew's house. When he was deposed in 2014 on an assault investigation, he displayed Shkreli-tier contempt for legal process:

Bieber displays the characteristics of a great hero of skaldic poetry. He treats the establishment and its rules with the contempt they deserve, leaving a trail of furious onlookers and currently outstanding South American arrest warrants. I can't decide whether he's the Donald Trump or John McAfee of pop. If the lulzy parts of the Internet were not stuck in a mode of reactionary anti-Bieber hatred they would realize that he is, as they say, "based as fuck". If he did anything other than produce pop music most everyone I know would heap praise upon him. The bottomless irreverence of his relentless assault on life is an admirable trait which more of you should emulate.

Because I have always enjoyed Bieber as an individual, I give his music a listen now and then to see if there's anything I enjoy. I never really found him to my taste, but some of the songs from Purpose are actually sounding really good. He has made significant improvement as a musician.

I've added some Bieber tracks to my library for the first time ever, and look forward to adding more. I have a lot of hope for the Biebs in the future. Maybe he'll pull a Clapton on us. You can signal faux superiority if you want by hating on pop music, but I will remain a Belieber.

Update: After this post was written, it was revealed that Justin Bieber was making America Great Again:

After this revelation, he also got in a street fight with a huge nigger:

Bieber is down for the road war.


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