Andrew Auernheimer (weev) wrote,
Andrew Auernheimer
weev

I turn 30 today.


30, being an easily divisible number, is one of those things we irrationally use to mark the beginning of an epoch in our lives. In my case it fits, as significant events now correlate with all of its factors. When I was 15 years old the government began surveilling me. The 3 years that said government stole from me under false pretense now accounts for a tenth of my life. The 6 years of earnings that I lost outside that 3 years due to government harassment now accounts for a 5th for it. I've spent a roughly a year as a refugee from American tyranny.

Having reached this milestone in my life, I reflect more upon the history of the world than my own history. I read Tacitus and Suetonius some eight years ago, but I lacked the wisdom to put them in the proper context. As a birthday present to me, I ask that you listen as I do.

Liberal democracy prides itself on bestowing liberties upon the individual, but when you investigate a given liberty, you generally find that it was first bestowed by a despot. For example, compare the eighth amendment to the United States Constitution to this remark upon the policies of Nero by Tacticus: "Restrictions were also put on the powers of the aediles and a limit fixed to the amount of bail or penalty which curule and plebeian aediles could respectively exact."

In ancient Rome, anyone imprisoned was allowed to challenge the nature of the imprisonment to see if it was done with lawful authority. However, many were refused the ability to exercise this right by curse of poverty, due to the benches of the court being only available after the furnishing of a fee. Suetonius outlined the abolition of this by that Roman emperor: "Clients should pay ... nothing at all for benches, which were to be furnished free of charge by the public treasury."

It took democracy over a millennia and a half to grant the liberties that were forged by a reviled despot, but the true irony is exactly how these liberties were restored. While the above outlines how habeas corpus was established with honesty 2000 years ago, it becomes illuminating to know in contrast how it came to exist in modern jurisprudence. For that we have to look at the Parliament of England in 1679, when the Habeas Corpus Act was passed through voter fraud. The roll call for that session of Parliament had accounted for 107 Lords present, and the Habeas Corpus Act passed 57-55, for a total of 112. Habeas corpus was 3 votes behind in the running, so they made up 5 votes. One extra, because it would have trigged an automatic recount by parliamentary bylaws if it was only 1 ahead.

So an individual liberty which was freely and gladly given early on in the career of a man that is now considered one of the most reviled despots in history could only be established in Western democracy through a complete and total subversion of the institution of democracy itself.

And now we come to the crux of the matter. Democracy feigns responsibility for individual liberties, but it did not invent them and has done a poorer job at maintaining them than other systems of governance. I have traveled this past year though many dictatorships, and I can say with confidence that their citizens are more free to conduct commerce than those of us who were born in the United States. The only freedoms that the USA offers you are those of degeneracy. You are free to commit sodomy in public, or mutilate your genitals. You certainly are not free to refuse to bake a cake in celebration of this, however. You are free to have the government move you into a neighborhood you could never afford on the dime of people who actually earn their money, but you are not free to refuse to live next to hostile foreigners with no sense of culture or decency.

Democracy also takes credit for improving quality of life, but the reality is that quality of life has improved all across the planet, even in dictatorships, because of improvements in technology. Democracy has nothing to do with increasing standards of living, just as it has nothing to do with individual liberty.

The reality is that democracy is a ridiculous and ignoble circus. How could it be more obvious as Trump announces on stage that he's bribed several of his opponents, "Deez Nuts" polls at #3, and Kanye presents an honest bid for executive office. There never was anything of substance to the institution itself. It only worked for a brief moment not because of any inherent nobility, but because of the decency and values of the people that populated it. As the descendants of those people become minorities in the lands their forefathers conquered, our government becomes progressively more like a banana republic. The Constitution, while noble in aim, was written before Bastiat even invented the first macroeconomic terminology. It was written before the Internet existed. The Constitution no longer accomplishes its aim of restraining government and creating a worthwhile civil order. We need to put the Constitution out of its misery before its last shred of dignity is gone.

The second quarter of my life is up, and it was defined mostly by humor and commercial pursuits. It was a wild ride, in which I became a millionaire, then a prisoner, and then a destitute, wandering refugee. I did some interesting things and some of them had some pretty fantastically large affects. For moments I made the world move. Now the next quarter of my life is here, and I believe the next will be defined by one question: by what memetic and technological praxes may I bring the rotten whore that is the United States government to her knees for the discipline she truly deserves? It is time for us to subvert democracy for the elevation of liberty, just as the Parliament of England did in 1679. Those of you who will join me in my aims, prepare yourselves. Our time is soon. Hail the new dawn.
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