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I turn 30 today. - Andrew Auernheimer — LiveJournal
Oðinnsson. Market abuser. Internationally notorious computer criminal.
I turn 30 today.

30, being an easily divisible number, is one of those things we irrationally use to mark the beginning of an epoch in our lives. In my case it fits, as significant events now correlate with all of its factors. When I was 15 years old the government began surveilling me. The 3 years that said government stole from me under false pretense now accounts for a tenth of my life. The 6 years of earnings that I lost outside that 3 years due to government harassment now accounts for a 5th for it. I've spent a roughly a year as a refugee from American tyranny.

Having reached this milestone in my life, I reflect more upon the history of the world than my own history. I read Tacitus and Suetonius some eight years ago, but I lacked the wisdom to put them in the proper context. As a birthday present to me, I ask that you listen as I do.

Liberal democracy prides itself on bestowing liberties upon the individual, but when you investigate a given liberty, you generally find that it was first bestowed by a despot. For example, compare the eighth amendment to the United States Constitution to this remark upon the policies of Nero by Tacticus: "Restrictions were also put on the powers of the aediles and a limit fixed to the amount of bail or penalty which curule and plebeian aediles could respectively exact."

In ancient Rome, anyone imprisoned was allowed to challenge the nature of the imprisonment to see if it was done with lawful authority. However, many were refused the ability to exercise this right by curse of poverty, due to the benches of the court being only available after the furnishing of a fee. Suetonius outlined the abolition of this by that Roman emperor: "Clients should pay ... nothing at all for benches, which were to be furnished free of charge by the public treasury."

It took democracy over a millennia and a half to grant the liberties that were forged by a reviled despot, but the true irony is exactly how these liberties were restored. While the above outlines how habeas corpus was established with honesty 2000 years ago, it becomes illuminating to know in contrast how it came to exist in modern jurisprudence. For that we have to look at the Parliament of England in 1679, when the Habeas Corpus Act was passed through voter fraud. The roll call for that session of Parliament had accounted for 107 Lords present, and the Habeas Corpus Act passed 57-55, for a total of 112. Habeas corpus was 3 votes behind in the running, so they made up 5 votes. One extra, because it would have trigged an automatic recount by parliamentary bylaws if it was only 1 ahead.

So an individual liberty which was freely and gladly given early on in the career of a man that is now considered one of the most reviled despots in history could only be established in Western democracy through a complete and total subversion of the institution of democracy itself.

And now we come to the crux of the matter. Democracy feigns responsibility for individual liberties, but it did not invent them and has done a poorer job at maintaining them than other systems of governance. I have traveled this past year though many dictatorships, and I can say with confidence that their citizens are more free to conduct commerce than those of us who were born in the United States. The only freedoms that the USA offers you are those of degeneracy. You are free to commit sodomy in public, or mutilate your genitals. You certainly are not free to refuse to bake a cake in celebration of this, however. You are free to have the government move you into a neighborhood you could never afford on the dime of people who actually earn their money, but you are not free to refuse to live next to hostile foreigners with no sense of culture or decency.

Democracy also takes credit for improving quality of life, but the reality is that quality of life has improved all across the planet, even in dictatorships, because of improvements in technology. Democracy has nothing to do with increasing standards of living, just as it has nothing to do with individual liberty.

The reality is that democracy is a ridiculous and ignoble circus. How could it be more obvious as Trump announces on stage that he's bribed several of his opponents, "Deez Nuts" polls at #3, and Kanye presents an honest bid for executive office. There never was anything of substance to the institution itself. It only worked for a brief moment not because of any inherent nobility, but because of the decency and values of the people that populated it. As the descendants of those people become minorities in the lands their forefathers conquered, our government becomes progressively more like a banana republic. The Constitution, while noble in aim, was written before Bastiat even invented the first macroeconomic terminology. It was written before the Internet existed. The Constitution no longer accomplishes its aim of restraining government and creating a worthwhile civil order. We need to put the Constitution out of its misery before its last shred of dignity is gone.

The second quarter of my life is up, and it was defined mostly by humor and commercial pursuits. It was a wild ride, in which I became a millionaire, then a prisoner, and then a destitute, wandering refugee. I did some interesting things and some of them had some pretty fantastically large affects. For moments I made the world move. Now the next quarter of my life is here, and I believe the next will be defined by one question: by what memetic and technological praxes may I bring the rotten whore that is the United States government to her knees for the discipline she truly deserves? It is time for us to subvert democracy for the elevation of liberty, just as the Parliament of England did in 1679. Those of you who will join me in my aims, prepare yourselves. Our time is soon. Hail the new dawn.
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From: (Anonymous) Date: September 1st, 2015 06:00 pm (UTC) (link)
Excellent article. Have a White day.
jameth From: jameth Date: September 1st, 2015 06:41 pm (UTC) (link)
Happy birthday weev
weev From: weev Date: September 1st, 2015 06:49 pm (UTC) (link)
thank you sir
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 1st, 2015 06:51 pm (UTC) (link)
Happy birthday, brother. May the gods grant you good health and fortune as you crush your enemies, and may the Valkyries raise you up to Valhöll upon your death.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 1st, 2015 08:16 pm (UTC) (link)

Top Kek

Happy Birthday weev. Go get married, will you. Time for small weevs now..
yechezkiel From: yechezkiel Date: September 1st, 2015 09:18 pm (UTC) (link)
Happy birthday & it was a great read.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 12:04 am (UTC) (link)
Indeed; happy birthday, man!
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 1st, 2015 09:37 pm (UTC) (link)
Happy birthday.

I see you've come to the same conclusion as the Cercle Proudhon. The one thing revolutionaries of the left and right agree on is that democracy has been the single greatest obstacle to human development and happiness. Personally I preach a return to the monarchic order with Christianity as the state religion in Europe and America. If you're going to be ruled by a tiny circle of degenerate bastards they might as well be your degenerate bastards. Far better a Berlusconi than a Sarkozy or Strauss-Kahn, if you know what I mean.

Your ancestors rejoiced in the deaths of their enemies too and I don't blame you. But direct confrontation is the most difficult path. Be wary of depression. They want us all isolated, neurotic, buying shit on credit and jerking off alone in the dark. Make it a point to build networks in real life and extend a hand to other dissident networks. I have no doubt you will achieve your goals.

I wish you all the best and that you find your joie de vivre.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 01:50 am (UTC) (link)
Happy birthday weev~
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 02:40 am (UTC) (link)
"Those of you who will join me in my aims, prepare yourselves. Our time is soon. Hail the new dawn."

-Hail victory

(Happy B-day)
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 04:52 am (UTC) (link)


happy birthday weev. great article
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 03:30 pm (UTC) (link)

Happy birthday

Countless innovations have happened in this democratic environment. Do you think that the internet would have been invented under a dictatorship? Are the dictatorships not the first to hobble the internet with great firewalls and cut off switches?
weev From: weev Date: September 2nd, 2015 04:17 pm (UTC) (link)

RE: Happy birthday

These innovations are products of superior racial intelligence, and occurred in spite of democracy, not because of it. However, as democracy grows increasingly a burden on commercial liberty, dictatorships have begun to outpace its development in many scientific fields. China is now doing much more exciting things than the US or Europe, particularly in regards to bioinformatics and molecular biology.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 06:37 pm (UTC) (link)


Happy 88th birthday!
weev From: weev Date: September 3rd, 2015 06:58 am (UTC) (link)

RE: 88!

14 words o/
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 2nd, 2015 09:40 pm (UTC) (link)

Happy Birthday

You're a special guy, and I'm sure that the most significant time of your life is still to come.
mercyorbemoaned From: mercyorbemoaned Date: September 2nd, 2015 10:28 pm (UTC) (link)
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear weev!
Happy birthday to you!
weev From: weev Date: September 3rd, 2015 06:58 am (UTC) (link)
617529309 From: 617529309 Date: September 2nd, 2015 10:37 pm (UTC) (link)

First of all, happy 30th birthday weev! You're only three years older than me, yet you are so wise.

I found your post very interesting and find that I see and agree with a lot of what you wrote. What do you think is the next course of action for America and its "democracy"?

weev From: weev Date: September 3rd, 2015 04:27 am (UTC) (link)
Speculating what America is going to do isn't as important as what I'm going to do-- build a fascist youth movement and purge my homeland of the rot.

From: (Anonymous) Date: September 3rd, 2015 01:03 am (UTC) (link)
Happy Birthday Weev! I should've wrote you in lieu Henry Leonard Pickard, but he was editing my thesis...Statism sucks, but I'm glad you made it out alive. Here's to many more for my favorite NATSOC. 1488.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 10th, 2015 03:01 am (UTC) (link)
Meant to say William Leonard Pickard. I was blind drunk when I posted this.
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