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Andrew Auernheimer
Oðinnsson. Market abuser. Internationally notorious computer criminal.

To whomever was trollin ZDnet: Sorry for poppin your troll and getting your article pulled. It would have been a great headline and could have definitely gone viral. Don't attach my name to your shit. I do not want to dilute my brand with false claims, association with 4chan or notions of criminal activity. I would have given you some tips on spinning if you'd have talked to me about it.

Seriously, I did not feel good about this, but I sorta had no other option. Talk to me before you drop my name to reporters on a story in the future. =[
15 piles of shards / break my glass

to mourn mandelbrot's death, i learned to knit. i have a partially finished scarf now. i will finish it later and take a jpeg.
18 piles of shards / break my glass
Some infosec zen, courtesy of Dr. Dre:
Somebody actually hacked into our emails, so that made our red flags go up. We’re in a new age and that’s a sign: Wake up motherfucker. You have to be more careful with your shit. That’s all there is to it. I know what’s up now.
6 piles of shards / break my glass
Squid is an extremely amazing piece of caching proxy software. I know some of you people like Varnish, but you seem to be accepting extremely irritating constraints on practical maintenance in return for 1.5% of extra performance at best. Personally, if you are so frustrated with Squid that you have to kowtow to Norwegian aspies you have done something wrong in your process of configuring Squid. On anything 10gigE or less I consistently see bandwidth at peak far before Squid runs out of CPU.

Part of the reason people bounce back and forth between various caching solutions is that there is no easy documentation of how to do what most of the dissatisfied people wish to do with Squid: not give all of your money to Akamai. So if you have a shitton of UGC and have acquired some cheap unlimited dedi to offload the majority of your UGC bandwidth usage to, this is for you. An idiot can even do this, and you will be able to afford your bandwidth bills even as your website goes into the Alexa top 1000 range. If you control one of the websites I love, please make sure they keep running in the event of my temporary or extended absence. 

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break my glass
"The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a division of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), spent $823,200 of economic stimulus funds in 2009 on a study by a UCLA research team to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex."


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13 piles of shards / break my glass

If you would like to get me a present please assist in my legal defense against tyranny. Please paypal to eauernheimer@gmail.com.
Thank you.

happy birthday 2 me
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fucking NWO. of course this is in israel.
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true knowledge
true knowledge
i got beaten up by linemen once, but this time they just gave me a hat

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People on the chats ask me what I'm going to do when all my legal troubles are over.

I'm not a planner. I never think ahead. People think I come up with shit through hard and long thought and it is all premeditated. I don't really have motives or goals. The answer is, who the fuck knows? There's a passage from the Tao Te Ching that indicates my underlying philosophy:
Act without doing;
work without effort.
Think of the small as large
and the few as many.
Confront the difficult
while it is still easy;
accomplish the great task
by a series of small acts.
I do what I can right now, with whatever is in front of me. Fluidity is key. I take advantages of all opportunities. I don't try to create them, I just let them flow to me. My eyes are my guide. Seeing is believing.

I learned this being a trader. Every time I try to speculate, I get fucked real fuckin' bad. I learned I'm really not too smart, and the key to being a prophet is to talk about what is happening right in front of you. A sucker thinks prophecy is predicting the future. Nothing ever came out of the mouth of Jesus, Mohammed, Moses or anybody else important other than criticism of shit that was happening in their time and vague statements which were completely obvious. Even if your predictions become correct, they usually aren't correct on the timeline you think they'll be. The Adam Smith adage rings true, "the market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent."

I think the Warren Buffet one is better though, "Beware of nerds, bearing charts."
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03:53 <&weevil_> you know what worries me
03:53 <&weevil_> that christ is going to rise again
03:53 <&weevil_> and hes going to see all the furries masturbating in their parents basements
03:53 <&weevil_> to drawn pictures
03:53 <&weevil_> and hes going to be like
03:53 <&weevil_> "i went on the cross... for this?"
03:53 <&weevil_> and hes going to be utterly disgusted and resentful for sacrificing for us
03:54 <&t12> agree
03:54 <&t12> all degenerate losers cursed to basements for eterernity
03:54 <&t12> thats why hell is underground
03:54 <&t12> closeest place to moms basement god could come up with
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much more balanced local news coverage this time
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I don't ask a lot from you, but please let the Dutch win the South African world cup. The irony of a Boer victory would be glorious.

Your faithful servant,
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Oh hey, my security consulting group just found a privacy breach at AT&T:


this story has been broken for 15 minutes, twitter is blowing the fuck up, we are on the forntpage of google news and we are on drudge report (the big headline):

A+ job with this team of amazing researchers I work with.
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20 feet tall, the orgone flowin' off of this thing was crazy.

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this is the best soda ever made. just fyi.
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WB made some fan ANSI art of me. I am very very grateful. This is gr8 work. The photo this derives from is on my lj profile, but I look far more Christlike in ANSI!
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who is on steam? friend me
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Best way to spend a hungover Saturday afternoon: shoutcasting the gospel music of one of the few living messengers of God on earth. America is a fag nation! Jews are violent reprobate rebels against God's will! Thank God for IEDs! Israel's doom is coming, God's promises are sure!

God bless Fred Phelps. God bless Shirley Phelps-Roper. God bless the Westboro Baptist Church.

My favorite tracks:
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Businesses should be allowed to run their business how they please, and the Jewish-run FCC should not have the right to muscle them out of business with tyrannical policies. If you don't want to do business with comcast you should go elsewhere, not go crying to the government for free shit you fucking welfare niggers. The essential issue is that you don't like the options that the market presents to you, and you aren't an effective enough person to create your own alternative to the market options, so you cry to the government for help. Kill yourself.

Imagine you are a restaraunt owner. You own a greasy spoon place. you serve chili and hash browns and hamburgers. Suddenly there's a law that says you have to serve foie gras and pheasant a la ronge for the same price as your hamburgers. Are you going to be pissed? Yes, and you're likely going to raise the price of your hamburgers.

The vast (55-95% in less populous areas, 100% in competitive urban areas) expenditure of laying cable has always been laid upon the ISP. There is no state-sanctioned monopoly, there are only localities where the margins are so small it makes starting local competition not lucrative. There are countless similar circumstances. You don't whine that there isn't a local competitor to your gas company.

Despite how the Boingboing types like to portray it, net neutrality is not a censorship issue at all. The issue is whether Comcast has a right to shape Bittorrent traffic. Do I think Comcast should be able to block access to say, Encyclopedia Dramatica if it does not pay them or fit some absurd content standard? No. Absolutely not, and I would like to see that ratified in national law if Comcast ever began doing it.

That isn't the issue at hand. Certain protocols (filesharing) will occupy every single bit of excess capacity your network has. I, as a past and likely future network operator feel that it is reasonable to implement QoS upon or prohibit a protocol that launches excessive sockets, consumes 80% of my bandwidth, causes 95% of my legal department's expenditures and is only used by 20% or less of my users.

I am not a copyright zealot. I fully support people's piracy, as it takes money right out of the pockets of the Jews. Personally, I get my entertainment from books and IRC which cost next to nothing, but I support your right to get free shit. Just not on my network. And now these goddamned hippies are crying that businesses dare pay for clever marketing. Hilarious.
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judge weevlos&quot; court is in session
judge weevlos' court is in session
oh my god. thank you fapman.

I am getting a giclee of this on my wall.
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we're all gonna break out of the black iron prison, all at once.
break my glass
Dow -560

its in fucking freefall*. go long on ammo!

*now below 10k, lulz

All of my brokerages were down during this blip. Anyone else saw a brokerage outage?

I guess if you're JP morgan and you punch in a bad trade, you get the whole market shut down so nobody can take advantage of your idiocy.
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OMG!!!! I got my shirts from The Lollershop.

The cube is actually a clock but you cannot see it in my picture due to it being sort of shiny and the flash effect from OS X Photobooth. I also got the Banhammer, Typeface and Casual Friday shirts.

I was so happy with this Time Cube shirt that I decided to put it on and give a call to Gene Ray, the visionary who first revealed the Time Cube paradigm. It starts out real weak but gets pretty good. He says that you've got to put your pole in a hole, and calls for acts of violence against teachers who refuse to profess the truth of cubic time!

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Drasius Kedys had his daughter raped by some powerful Jews. He begged police to bring them to justice, but two of them (a judge and a politician) had too much power and sued him for slander. So he did what any decent father would do: he gunned them down, went on the run and became a national hero.

He was found murdered this month. Let us take a moment to honor Drasius Kedys. He was an example to white Christians, a warrior against state oppression and a monument to what being a father should be.

God bless you, Drasius. We will remember you.
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sickest pokemon theme arrangement ever
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So, Russia has had ironclad control over natural gas in Europe for a while. They've been particularly brutal about it too-- you may remember this winter when Russia shut off the heat supply to nearly half of Europe over gas debt disputes with the Ukraine.
About 80 percent of Russian gas to Europe is shipped through pipelines crossing Ukraine. ...
As of Wednesday, nations including Bulgaria, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Greece, Italy, Macedonia, Romania, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia and Turkey all reported a halt in Russian gas shipments. Others — including Austria, France, Germany, Hungary and Poland — reported substantial drops in supplies.
Well, naturally behavior like this had Europeans searching for latent natural gas reserves. Well, they found them in Poland.
This shit is huge-- the breaking of a gigantic, megatrillion energy monopoly. This is a dramatic shift in global economics. Think Beverly Hillbillies on the global stage. One day they was sick of Russia's lack of diplomatic art, and up through the shale came a-bubblin' farts. Transparent gold. Polish toots.

So what happens next? Well, the whole Polish cabinet makes a visit to Russia, and all happen to simultaneously die in a fiery plane crash under mysterious circumstances. I have heard two explanations presented. Trees and pilot error. These explanations are non-explanations. At least when the United States decides to engineer a disaster, we came up with some absurdly entertaining story about some Saudi royal living in a cave leading a bunch of Saudis to defeating multiple layers of US airway security on the one day ever we have happened to spontaneously send all our scramble-ready jets to Canada all so we can invade a couple countries that are not Saudi Arabia. "Trees did it" is clearly a gigantic load of bullshit, and I can safely call this one now:

Russians did 4/10. Never forget Poland.
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We Christians are coming, with swords held on high
United by faith and the cause
The Saracen heathen will soon taste our steel
Our standards will rise 'cross the land
Fight the good fight
Believe what is right
Crusader, the Lord of the Realm
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"guess ya'll are mostly baptists out there .... we need the methodists down front for this part."

fucking lol. i love mcmurtry.
break my glass

I pray to you, the Lord my God, to give this guy a talkshow or a political office.
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This is the face of a decent American. He could be your father, your brother, or your friend. He played bass guitar. He worked his whole life and got nothing for it but the gleeful sneers of the kikes who profited from his labor. His government betrayed him.

He wrote something. Something he thought so important that he died so we would read it. It is a great document, and every word of it bleeds courage and truth.

Andrew Joseph Stack, the Third: for all the long years of my life I will honor your memory on February 18th.
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"Aint got a care in the world
but he's got plenty of plans
And on sunday theres a gospel
for all of his fans
And now he'll talk about our failing economy
The trash, pollution, and lack of plankton in the sea"

lollllll omg somebody wrote a song about me
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im watching the hannah montana movie
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GNAA Chief Technology Officer sloth sporting a GNAA advertisement showing solidarity with the Westboro Baptist Church at Phelps clan rally also pictured: tehdely (left)
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you know what?

this guy is awesome
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14.88 bagel toaster
14.88 bagel toaster somewhere in the category management industry there is somebody who has a good sense of humor.

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dont you fuckin love to bugsweep a hotel room and find the fuckin mirror is transmitting

hello to our fans in domestic surveillance
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Sometimes a leader comes around who does so much for the common man that the media has no choice but to crucify him in history. Few today dare consider running against the tide of the New World Order. There is one leader of history of which the slander to his name propagated so thoroughly into public perception that it makes it difficult to make allegorical comparisons to some of the most important events in history.


Nero was a real man. A shrewd tactician that knew how to successfully use military force and successfully subjugated Armenia to Roman dominance. Though many historical accounts of Nero describe him as weak and frail, one may know merely by looking at a bust that he had a noble face from which blue eyes burned fiercely.

Nero was a visionary of Western democracy, implementing reforms that would take until the advent of the United States Constitution to appear again. To quote Tacitus, "Restrictions were also put on the powers of the aediles and a limit fixed to the amount of bail or penalty which curule and plebeian aediles could respectively exact." There's the spiritual source to the eighth amendment to the Constitution of our nation.

Quoth Suetonius, "no one who wrote a will for another should put down a legacy for himself." Nero was the first implementor of conflict of interest statutes for attorneys and a system of notaries, as it was common practice upon a rich white man's death for some Jew lawyer to come up with a fake will that left all his estate to some kike. "Clients should pay a fixed and reasonable fee for the services of their advocates, but nothing at all for benches, which were to be furnished free of charge by the public treasury." There's the right to due process and counsel, courtesy of Nero.

Faced with these reforms, the Senate subsequently demanded that patrons should have a right to gather freedmen as forced labor. "During the same time there was a discussion in the Senate on the misconduct of the freedmen class, and a strong demand was made that, as a check on the undeserving, patrons should have the right of revoking freedom." Nero's response? "The emperor replied to the Senate that, whenever freedmen were accused by their patrons, they were to investigate each case separately and not to annul any right to their common injury."

Nero literally prevented the re-enslavement of those who had earned their freedom.

The Senate continued doing skeevy shit to try to enact debts on those who had not drafted them. They made attempts to make the crimes of one apply to all who live under a given roof. "Cingonius Varro had proposed that even all the freedmen under the same roof should be transported from Italy. This the emperor forbade, as he did not wish an ancient custom, which mercy had not relaxed, to be strained with cruel rigour." Nero cut it off.

As emperor, Nero repeatedly rooted out corrupt officials, arresting many. He did something unprecedented with the first rule of government transparency in history, the likes of which are not even matched by our own government-- "Accordingly the emperor issued an edict that the regulations about every branch of the public revenue, which had hitherto been kept secret, should be published" as well as reforms which prevented the unjust levy of taxes "that claims which had been dropped should not be revived after a year; that the praetor at Rome, the propraetor or proconsul in the provinces, should give judicial precedence to all cases against the collectors." He lowered many of the taxes upon basic needs, food and housing, that were borne entirely upon the poor and working classes.

So in AD 64, Rome supposedly burned. Though a big deal is made of this now, only Tacitus, who hated Nero, wrote much about it. Tacitus had an obvious bias against Nero and took every chance he could to slander him. Nobody else even mentioned it. However, let's say, for the sake of argument, that Nero really did fiddle while the city burned. Rome at the time was filled with a bunch of parasitic, decadent aristocrats that insisted upon fraud or slavery as means by which they could earn their living. Would it not be a good thing if such men were deprived of homes and goods, or if, better yet, they were to die in the blaze? I wouldn't have just fiddled as those disgusting liberal perverts burned alive. I would have had a full bluegrass band running through the streets fiddlin', pickin' and strummin', all the while curbstomping the defects of my nation to add percussion to the ensemble. The attitude that Nero was at fault reminds me of Orange County, where families with feigned personalities ripped straight off of "The Hills" played Ponzi schemes with real estate and then cried to the state for aid when their uninsured properties burned down.

There's a reason insurance along the Santa Ana brush corridor was prohibitively expensive. You have lived a life divorced from work and reality. Take a second away from drinking and fucking to pick up a hose and defend your homes from fire, assholes. Don't expect the state to do everything for you.

What started the fire? Nobody is sure, but a later event makes me suspect arson by treasonous terrorists.

Eventually, the Jews were Nero's downfall. Long known for their parasitism, the Jews began to revolt as a result of Nero's reforms. No longer allowed to take Greeks at random to be slaves, and no longer allowed to defraud the state in secret, the Jews turned to revolt. Nero immediately began to quell the rebellion, but as he achieved success the Senate and praetorians conspired against him, forcing him to flee Rome. Nero's biggest mistake was not having the entire slavery-supporting Senate executed from the beginning. He should have killed them all and proceeded to crush Jerusalem entirely, scattering its revolting people to the winds. Failure to do so was one of the greatest mistakes in the history of Western civilization.

So next time somebody makes a point using Nero and fiddles, be sure to respond, "yeah, God bless Nero."

Next time: Nixon! The greatest leader of the Western world since Andrew Jackson.
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fuckin' kilorad. i just finished watching all of buffy and angel in order so this is all fresh in my mind.
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You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You'd better free your mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow
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He has been closing the doors to Guantanamo and opened the doors wide to the legal black hole of the Bagram detention facility, where conditions are worse than they ever were at Gitmo. He has not signed an executive order to end rendition and it still continues to this day.

He did not open his lips or raise a finger in opposition when the Jews covered Gaza's UN schools and hospitals in white phosphorus, permanently mutilating women and children.

He has fervently worked to protect against accountability and transparency for the last eight years of war crimes.

Lastly, he has personally ordered many airstrikes upon Afghanistan. Let us remember the truth of Obama's "legacy of peace":

A peacemaker? Give me a break.

Of note: At least 178 Jews and persons of half- or three-quarters-Jewish ancestry have been awarded the Nobel Prize, accounting for 23% of all individual recipients worldwide between 1901 and 2008.
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i am starting to look super prophetic.

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From: "Matthew 10:34"
To: Adrienne D

Pantheistic faiths were an expression of different racial and psychological
archetypes in religious characters, with the exception of Sumerian faith,
which largely elevated profitable social functions and institutions to the
levels of godhood.

Loki, Kali and Christ are an eternal golden braid. They all share some story
bullet points that made them hedges against mankind's exposure to the
apocalypse initiated by a banker elite. An aspect of the Godhood needn't
necessarily be a trickster to act in this manner (though it is most
frequently a trickster that exhibits this behavior because the trickster has
the least to lose). Kali was definitely not a trickster, and most people do
not consider Christ to be (though I do). When I was in India, I was
examining old Vedic art with a sadhu. I saw a picture of Mahakali stabbing a
crowned man to death. At the top of the man's sceptre was a Star of David.
When I asked about this piece, the sadhu said it was an old story that is
taboo now.

Aryanism is a divine spirit. When you talk to a Pentecostal, they describe
the Holy Spirit as something that hits you like a train. It feels your body
to such an extreme that you cannot ignore its action. Aryanism is not about
race-- there are Hispanic Aryans (read Miguel Serrano sometime for some of
the most beautiful gnostic-Aryan rhetoric and prose you will ever consume),
Aryans of primarily African origin (see the Nepels in India and the
radicalized peoples of Libya), Aryans of Asiatic origin (these were greatly
concentrated in Japan, before being wiped out by the Shinto cult which was
founded by a lost Jewish tribe, there are also plenty of these on the
Indian/Nepal border), Middle Eastern Aryans (in Afghanistan and Iran) and
Aryans of European descent (some still in Germany, many in Austria,
Switzerland and Poland and a dying few in Greece, Italy, Norway and

Aryanism is a body of information which certain bodies of information make
you more perceptible to. Certain life experiences can give you a sense of
"deja vu" of things you have done before. Certain chemicals and bacterias
can make you more succeptible to the Aryan spirit. Regardless of your
descendance, you can be transformed into a proper being through expression
of the Aryan experience. It is a choice. Spirit or materiality. It is one
you make every day.

Baldr wasn't a great god. He accomplished nothing. He had the modern
equivalent of spinning rims and a big house in a gated community on the
basis of his inheritance. He was a symbol of something evil commonly
attributed amongst communities succeptible to Demiurgic influence-- one's
success in life being determined by being born into the right circumstance
and not by the fruit of one's labor. Loki, as an avatar of the living
Godhead, defended man's freedom against slavery by arranging for Baldr's

I have paid for my life in precious blood. Conditions of my existence now
involving law enforcement surveillance prevent me from continuing to engage
in this practice. I can only hope that others can find the gnosis of God
through similar practice. There is something magical about watching the life
slip out of evil being's eyes. Try it sometime.

You may access pieces of gnosis through many means. DMT is a good start, if
you can find it. Fasting and meditation I highly suggest. Gnosis is
collected gradually. You won't figure it out all in one shot. It is
delivered in small pieces. Just keep awareness at all times because God can
and will communicate to you through many paths in many places. I personally
received my largest piece at the Mahakali shrine atop the ruins of Golconda.
I know the pieces fit, because I watched them fall away. One day they all
click and you are wholly transformed.

On Fri, May 29, 2009 at 10:57 AM, Adrienne D wrote:

> Hi Weev
> Hope things are going well. I just had a few questions as I was listening
> to your recent sermon. I'm not quite sure whether I'm quite convinced, but
> nevertheless, I'm interested and want a bit of clarification. Some of them
> are just smaller questions that really aren't worth time being addressed in
> your sermons, so feel free to just respond in email, if possible.
> You mentioned that Jesus is just a facet of a living god that's existed
> since humans have perceived. I've read posts where you've mentioned Kali
> before as well, and you mentioned Loki during this past sermon. Are there
> specific entities that are included, or are there facets of just about any
> divinity recognized by man, from Athena to Thor to Hathor and on? Or simply
> their various trickster god/goddesses?
> So if there's a chosen people of the Hyperborean god, the Aryans, does that
> leave the rest of humanity as being under the influence of the Demiurge? I
> probably didn't spell that right. Anyways. Where does the rest of humanity
> fit in? It sounds almost as though you can simply be born into one group or
> the other, and so is there no redemption if you're not of Aryan descendance?
> Or is it dependant upon what actions you take?
> As far as Balder and Loki goes, Balder wasn't the greatest deity, but are
> you saying that Balder is a facet of the Demiurge, even as Loki is a facet
> of the Hyperborean god? Or simply that Loki, as part of the Hyperborean god,
> is defending mankind against a being threatening it?
> In saying that people who are despicable, wastes of flesh, etc., should be
> killed, I can't help but ask, have you done this yourself? I know I can only
> take your word on it, but to say something like that, it seems hypocritical
> if you haven't done it yourself.
> How did you come across this knowledge? Are these believes and ideas that
> someone passed on to you in whole form, or that you pieced together yourself
> through experience?
> Thanks for your time
> Adrienne
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Never on land or by sea will you find the marvelous road to the feast of the Hyperborea.
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read spamcop
complaints that
said we were
filthy spammers
all opt-out
evil rebill scammers

in between lines of coke
and cracking jokes
about fake legal threats
i hit reply
to this guy
to let him know
how it goes

well now i've got some advice for you little buddy
before you whine to abuse you should know that
sometime previously
you signed up for a service
and in the AUP
you gave us the right to inbox you.

so if i'm fuckin spam then you're fuckin' spam as well
so i'm just gonna keep inboxin' your ass

all you know about me is a .com,
dumb fuck
i sold out long before i filed with a registry
i sold my soul to send some emails,
dip shit

so shut up and BUY 
premium accounts
send more money!
fuck you buddy.
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Fun with Google Suggest!

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