Andrew Auernheimer (weev) wrote,
Andrew Auernheimer

A personal appeal to @arrington


I'm federally indicted. Because I told my attorney, the fabulous Tor Ekeland, that I would no longer make comments on the circumstances of the case, I will only quote something I've already said in this Youtube video:
"It was June of 2010-- there was a public AT&T webserver ... No password, no firewall. It was leaking the customer records of iPad 3G users. I ensured the delivery of a sample of this data to a journalist because I feel if a big company puts you at risk, you deserve to know about it."
Shortly afterwards, you awarded us (Goatse Security) a Crunchie. It touched my heart at a time of great strife and I'm very thankful for your support. Though you bestowed great kindness upon me once, I beg it of you once more.

TechCrunch Disrupt is coming up. For a conference of people enthused about disruptive technology, my case should strike fear into their hearts. AT&T has admitted that the webserver in question was a public one. USC 1030, the statute of "unauthorized access" that I am indicted under, hinges upon the term "unauthorized".

Unauthorized is completely undefined in the law. In fact, the only sense that it seems to exist in my case is that AT&T defined what they made publicly available after the fact as unauthorized. This means that any time you click a link or visit a web form, if at any time after you do so the web operator decides they just don't like you, you're a criminal. They then can have the FBI kick in your door and throw you in solitary (as happened to me). They can also sue you-- USC 1030 is a civil as well as criminal statute.

You're all technically criminals under the law if I decide that I didn't want you reading this.

Of course, I doubt I'd find a US Attorney to indict you. This is the underlying problem in America-- there are different sets of laws for different sets of people. A well-deserved funeral dirge is being composed for the old world, but they want to get rid of everyone that dare scribe a note of it. I've scribed too many notes, and it appears my time is up.

I'm not Kim Dotcom. Nobody paid me for what I'm indicted for. I don't have a mansion and hundreds of thousands of dollars to blow on PR, development of a new business and legal expenses. When the FBI kicked in my door, I lived at the top of a run-down house with no furniture or air conditioning in the same town I was born in-- Fayetteville, Arkansas. It had broken windows and was sweltering in the Southern heat. I am now living off of charity, because my bail conditions make it impossible to be successful in my field:
  • I am not allowed to touch computers unless I submit them to the federal government for the installation of monitoring software. Of course, I am a old Linuxbeard deliverability guy and they only have monitoring software for Microsoft Windows. Oh well.

  • My employment has to be "pre-approved" by the federal court, which generally means they intimidate until an offer is rescinded.
I was never very money-motivated. I do what I do because I enjoy making great art, not because it makes money. I'm perhaps the world's most notorious Internet troll, and yet my technology is perhaps far less disruptive than much of yours. I now know that if I had been a thief I'd likely never have been charged, and if I had I'd have been able to pay for a good defense.

I am a poor country boy from Arkansas. I was born into nothing, and I had hoped to die one day with just enough to get an Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow that sat in a distant corner of my dreams. After a solid decade of federal stalking and harassment, followed by solitary confinement and beatings I have now given up hope on that.

I'd only like one thing, if you could kindly oblige. Perhaps as an exchange for the public service I provided, or at least for the laughter and joy many garnered when all the world's media from NPR to Chinese television talked about Goatse for a week. A final humble request before the anti-Constitutional terrorists we ironically call law enforcement shove me into a prison cell like they so gleefully desire.

I'd like that Crunchie statue, and a ticket to TechCrunch Disrupt.

Henceforwards yours in humble and faithful servitude,
Andrew Escher Auernheimer
ex-Analyst for Goatse Security (I looked at gaping holes all day, every day)
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